Sorrowful-Hope

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Words Of Tears , True Feelings Hurts

Today morning , my father argued with my grand-mother .....

When they argued i was quitely listening while tears filled my eyes ..... But noone bothered to care , since when did someone really cared about me ? .....

The words that fly by my room , i catch a glimpse of them ..... " Always Ah Kai ( my uncle ) better , Go live with him ! " and " You are always right and others wrong " ..... Although the argument had nothing to do with me , it left a very deep mark on me ..... Well , i guess cause my bother is always better than me and i m always wrong .....

On a battlefield , the one who is hurt worse is the innocent and not the conflict parties ..... So think of it before you start a fight with someone .....

Now , i really need someone special who i can love and to love me back , as i never really felt love ..... Although i had love before , things was not always true ..... Many things i never did say out , Many feelings are still kept inside my heart ..... Although u said i must tell you everything , Sorry , i never did kept that promise ..... The truth is i never wanted to let you go , for that i regreted daily ..... Sorry that i never did tell you my feelings either , and sorry for pushing you to other guys , maybe i'm not worth your time , guess i wasted much of your time .....

Well sorry , i really hope you didn't read this posting ..... You Do not need to know .....

my sad world. 6:34 PM

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Presentation Is So Stressful

Today , 26th June 2007 ..... We had a presentation for our Computer Systems Application (CSA) .....

Well the pervious night we confrenced on the phone to finalise our script ..... 2 of my members had wonderful scripts and i found mine to be flawed and irrelevent ..... Thus i stayed up late to redrift my script ..... A sudden storm creeped up to me without me knowing , thus as it came , i rushed to check if all the windows were closed and helped my father to bring some of the shoes into the house as to keep them dry .....

I was Finally done with my script and went off to bed ..... The next morning i got up early to get a formal shirt from my father and changed ..... Well it was like the 1st time i wore 2 layers of clothing in Singapore ..... Very hot ..... When i reach school , i checked with the group members whether my script was acceptable and was feeling all nervious through the 1st lecture .....

Well the dreaded time arrived , although i can see all the speakers were fantastic and i was feeling that i was not good enough ..... But well everything went as planned and quite smooth .....

After that , i went back school to give my god-family some key-chains i made ..... I hope everyone liked it , well remember me always .....

my sad world. 11:44 PM

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Holiday Came To An End Without Completing My Task

So fast 2 weeks came to an end , Well actually it passed by very long as i had nothing better to do ..... Every day was the same routine , wake , eat , play computer, watch tv .....

Because of a minor setback , my only student for POA gave up on POA ..... What is the use of a teacher without a student ? ..... Well i set aside a lot of time to teach her so that she would pass or better , i search thrugh a huge pile of papers to find all my past POA worksheets so that i can teach her and praticed questions ..... Well , at the end of the day it was a wasted effort .....

But even if i had done more , would she even appricate it , even abit ? ..... Out of so many times and things i did , how many did she even appricate it ..... Not even a Thanks ..... In the end what did i get ? .....
See her back turned against me ? .....
Getting scolded by her ? .....

To me , the most important thing i want back from helping a person , is the apprication ..... But for her case , I cant seem to let go , i keep helping her but my heart never stops even though it gets disheartened ..... Why is this so ?

People said :
If you help someone , kindness you shown would be returned to you in 2 folds ..... Or .....
Do unto others what you want others to do unto you .....

Heard the above expressions before ? I bet you did ..... Well to disappoint you , Kindness would not be returned to you at least not in 2 folds ..... If you are lucky , i will return to you in the same amount but never 2 folds ..... So take that in mind when you help others and expect them to do the same for you .....

But for me , I will still continue helping others ..... As its me .....

my sad world. 11:29 PM

Friday, June 22, 2007

CDS Selection

What is CDS ?
Cross Disciplinary Subjects ..... We are needed to take and complete or pass 3 CDS to graduate from TP ..... If we were to fail or drop out from 1 of the subjects , we are needed to take another subject or else we will to do the 4th year .....

Today was the selection for subjects we wanted to take , given only 5 choices we are to rank them according to our prefence ..... I rushed through the choosing as wanted to select the choices when the web site was updated at 1000 .....

Thus I ranked :
1. Introduction to Psychology
2. Introduction to language & culture ( Japanese )
3. Water Technology
4.Human Environment Planning
5.Introduction to Project Management

Although the wed site was simple , it took most of us ard an hour to finish this process as there were a vast amount of students trying to rush for places ..... Well its a 1st come 1st serve basis thus we do need to rush for places .....

Well hope to get my choices ..... And other get their choices too .....

my sad world. 10:39 PM

Monday, June 18, 2007

Crap . I Hate Friends

Last night i told 1 of my friend some of my feelings about my ex , guess i got stabbed .....

I told my friend that i was getting fustrated with her , as her boyfirend lived so close to her and she calls me out for lunch and is currently very avaliable ..... I feel that I shouldn't do so much for her , as my duty has ended long time ago ..... Although i loved to do things for her and willingly do those things ..... I sort of feel that i do not want to cause any emmotional damage to her and her current stead ..... Thus i'm getting fustrated ..... The heart and the mind has its purpose .....

Thing is she never did understand me ..... So hope you read this and understand although i told you not to read my blog .....

And finally , to let me carry out my duty and promise to teach you POA , you must come to me and not me to you ..... Well in your own time .....

Well , to the person who tipped it off ..... Thanks , you been a great friend !!!!

my sad world. 9:56 PM

Saturday, June 16, 2007

1St Time Going To A Pub ..... What are Friends ??

Yesterday , 9pm i departed from my house to go to Cafe Del Mar at Sentosa ..... My mother got an invitation for a party to celebrate 3 co-worker's birthday ..... Well the place had a nice environment , it has chairs , beds , sofa , etc ..... But there was nothing much for us to do as we seldom drink and never smoke , thus we went to the palawan beach 7-11 to get drinks ..... When we returned the 3 birthday girls blew out the candles and were thrown into the pool ..... Followed that , my mother asked her co-worker for his preference on a drink , and thus bought a alcoholic drink for my brother since the sole reason for coming was to have a drink ..... Well the place was nice , but i guess not the kind of place for me .....

Recently , I been feeling that some of my friends are using me and that i'm not really wanted as a percious friend in their life ..... They are never around when I'm drifted away into the darkness ..... But they are always there when they need help or just plain bord ..... I Hate This Feeling .....

Although i been feeling this since , well , super long ago .....

So tell me , What are Friends ? .....
1. Always be there even in good or bad ? .....
2. Ready to help at any moment ? .....
3. Always make you cheer up even the darkness of nights .....
4. Caring for you physcially and memtally ? .....
5. Always know how you are feeling ? .....
6. Understanding you ? .....

Right now , I do not feel none of these from my friends ..... Well , they are too busy i guess ..... Haxi .....

Well , noone will do anything either , cause they do not bother ..... So why am i always trying to be the best friend anyone has ever had ? ..... Whats wrong with me ? ..... The saying goes " What goes around , comes around " ..... I guess thats seriously wrong ..... Or maybe i should not try so hard to be the best friend to them ? .....

Well someone answer me ? .....
I guess I really need a friend .....

my sad world. 1:36 AM

Thursday, June 14, 2007

How Matured Is Oneself

Someone once told me that we are matured when we learn how to sacrifice ..... This means that we must put ourselves after others and learn to give instead of recieving ..... Thus leaving our selfish wants and self centerness .....

But easier said than done , when we expect nothing in return ..... At a point in time , we will feel unwanted and un-needed ..... We would tend to revert to our old and immatured self , seeking attention ..... So how to measure whether we are matured or not .....

Others on the other hand , speak of army for boys to be the turning point for them to turn into MEN ..... Is this true ? ..... The army no doubt teach males the discipline and values needed to turn them into true man and to grow up ..... But its only a taste of reality , the bitterness and how tough it can be ..... The army trains the mind and to body so that it can face troubles and obstacles along the way ..... But from a life example , i do not believe so , my brother sure hasn't changed much .....

For girls i'm not too sure .....

For me , i believe that we are grown up when we learn what is true love and the responsibility that comes with it ..... Warning , its true love and not love alone ..... Haxi

my sad world. 1:23 AM

Monday, June 11, 2007

Love The Weather Lately

Lately , the weather has been GREAT !!!

I wan to go to the reservior late at night , but there is noone to accompany me ..... I feel like the wind from the reservior is calling me and dragging me towards it ..... haha , it may sound stupid and silly but I really love the wind .....

My blog is to keep my true self , i really do not wish people to understand me because they read my blog ..... I really want people to see my true self by their own .....

No one is alone in this world although they may seem to ..... There are always friends by their side , just they have to find them ..... Also just to say , there is much more good in this world than bad , we just have to look hard enough to find them .....

my sad world. 8:06 PM

Sunday, June 10, 2007

I Wanna Be Loved !!

Sorry I been busy lately with the mid-term test to do some blogging .....

Anyway , my ex wrote on her MSN nick that she still got feelings for someone ..... Maybe Its True , Maybe its not ..... Well I hope she would not consider him cause she already has a stead ..... Even if the person its me ! .....

Well I been feeling neglected by everyone lately ..... My family only like care for my brother , cause his in army ..... So Big Deal ..... DAMMIT ..... Always make good meals when his around , keep treating him so good , make me or my sister give up our computer for him as his is spoiled , etc ..... Today even made me off TV , for no good reason ! .....

My friends , they all got someone special to care about , thus I always be left out in the dark .....

I Still love you , Love the way u always make me feel wanted ..... Love the way you sleep on my shoulder ..... but you are not mine ..... Well hope you continue with your relationship and forget about me .....

my sad world. 7:11 PM

Blog Introduction
"Sorrowful Hope"
Do you feel that hope is sorrowful ? Well i do

Hope is a cheerful feeling to have I have to admit myself . But hope turns dark when we are grasping on to something that cannot happen or that is impossible .

In some point in our life , we will aim for something we cannot get . It maybe small or big , simple or complex .

People always say that we can loose everything but hope . Once hope is lost , the battle has lost < means everything we worked so hard for and that future is gone >

But is hope really that worth , especially when we cannot obtain it ? Or should it be given up ?

True Feelings
I'm a faithful and loyal guy ....
However if u did sth wrong,
I'LL remember it 4EVA

AIMS in my life
1. I not going to be EMO no more !! (Partly Achieved)

2. I'm going to be the best friend to my friends !! (Forever A Task)

3. Live By this quote : Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

4. Lose weight

5. Know what i want in life, Occupation?

~~6. GPA at least a 3 at the end of poly life (possible but hard)~~ IMPOSSIBLE

7. Read Newspaper everyday?
^-^

Me
Gener : Male
DOB : 15th December 1989
Status : Single
Country : Singapore ( SG )
Primary School : SHPS
Secondary School : SHSS
Teritary Education : TP

Likes :
Cool N Windy Places
Going Out With Frens
Slacking
Playing Games
LOVES Piano Songs ^^

Dislikes :
Working
BackStabers / Liers
Getting Caught In The Middle
Ppl Who Nv Reply Msges
Ppl Who PS, Without Reason
Ppl That Use Others

Recomemded Jap Aminations
Full Moon Wo Sagashite
DN Angel
Lamune
Asatte No Houkou
Canvas
Nagasarete Airantou
Shaman King
Pita Ten
My Wife is a High School Girl
Tsuyokiss
Gakuen Alice
Sumomomo Momomo
Otogi Jushi Akazukin TV
Tokimeki Memorial ~Only Love~
Karin
Kamichama Karin
Hayate no Gotoku!
Rozen Maiden & Rozen Maiden Traumend
Maburaho
Love Hina
Makai Senki Disgaea
Ai Yori Aoshi
Gundam Seed/Destiny
Clannad
Shinigami no Ballad
H2O ~Footprints in the Sand~
Gift Eternal Rainbow
Shugo Chara!

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

SHSS Friendz ( 5B 2006 )
Jane
Yu.Xin
Giovanna
Melvin.Sim
Alan.liu

SHSS Friendz ( Other Classes 2006 )
Joanna
Joy
Alice
Kenneth
Christabel
Janani
Shi.Hui
Lee.Seng

God-Family
Gladys
Jessica
Ynez
Wan.Ling

TP Friendz (1B01 2007)
Gary
Wei.Lun
Tiffanie

TP Friendz (2B13 2008)
Martin

TP Friendz (2B01 2008-2009)
Vannessa
Lynette
Jerald.Lam

TP Friendz (Other Classes 2007-2008)
Juliana
Valerie
Celine
Jeremy.Soon
Melissa

Outside Friendz
Charlene
Farhan
Kah Mun
Yin.Yin
Rachel
Linda
Shuan Siang
Fizzah
WeiLing
Maria
Vincent.Tay
Jolinna
Vinson
Aishah
Jewel

Friend Shop
Nail Express

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